Stop Saying Sorry for This

In my work with leaders and teams, sometimes (in fact, often), people cry. The work they’re doing is hard and when they stop (or when I insist they stop) to reflect on it - on their challenges, on the sacrifices they’re making, on their belief in themselves, on what else they can do to ensure the team is successful - the tears tend to flow.

This has been the case for brand new leaders who are struggling mightily and rough and tumble veteran leaders who look like they could punch a hole through a brick wall.

Every single time, as the tears begin, they say to me and to whoever else is in the room, “I’m sorry.”

Every. Single. Time.

Why? Why the heck are we apologizing for showing emotion? For being human? Why are we acting like this is a bad thing?

I’m no psychologist, but maybe, just maybe, if we were more comfortable sharing our vulnerabilities and where we need help instead of pretending we have it all figured out, we’d be happier, less afraid of looking foolish, and ultimately more successful.

Stop saying, “Sorry” because you care so much about what you’re doing that not doing it perfectly makes you upset enough to shed some tears.

That passion is a good thing.

That care is a good thing.

You should apologize if you don’t feel that way. Not because you do.