Is Toxic Positivity a Real Thing?

One of the new corporate buzz terms that seems to crop up often is “Toxic Positivity.”

I searched far and wide for a universal definition of toxic positivity and was unable to find one. This is unsurprising as the term is so new. Though the “experts” who weighed in on toxic positivity all agreed it was very, very bad.

Here are some of the definitions I found.

“The belief that no matter how dire or difficult a situation is, people should maintain a positive mindset.”

“The pressure to stay upbeat no matter how trying one's circumstance is.”

“The pressure to only display positive emotions, suppressing any negative emotions, feelings, reactions, or experiences.”

The benefits of positive thinking are well documented. From lower stress, increased immunity, increased wellness, and better resilience, thinking positively is objectively better than not doing so. In fact, thinking positively leads to a reduced risk of death from cardiovascular problems, less depression, and an increased lifespan.

From daily affirmations to prayer to just seeing life as being “glass half-full,” being positive is better than the alternative.

So, is toxic positivity actually a thing?

One “article” I read described a vice president who told employees, “Never show doubt, hurt, fear, or pain.”

Certainly, this is bad leadership. But is it toxically positive (the author doesn’t share what they were supposed to do instead. If it was to always smile, keep a brave face on, etc, it certainly could be).

I’ve worked with leaders all over the world, and I’ve literally never seen this elusive toxic positivity in the workplace. I’ve never seen any leader, despite having worked with many who had tons of room for growth, who’d created an environment that’s toxically positive.

I have seen dozens and dozens of negative, gossip-filled, backstabbing, politic-heavy, complaining workplaces that have been allowed to exist because leaders felt it wasn’t their place to set expectations and hold people to them. Or, they did think it was their place and didn’t know how.

Sure, I have seen leaders tell staff they need to “power through” or “take one for the team” when what the team needed was compassion. But again, is this toxic or just some instances of leaders being less than totally plugged in to what the team needs?

If an employee walked into their boss’ office and said they were separating from their partner, their cat had three weeks to live, and they were feeling like work and even life itself were pointless, and the boss responded with, “Hey, put a smile on that face. We don’t sulk here.” I’d have major concerns.

But this would never happen. Or if it did, this leader wouldn’t be around much longer. Maybe in 1975. Not in 2023.

I don’t know if toxic positivity is real. I think, in most cases, it’s just plain old positivity, and some employees don’t like being told to find solutions or that “we got this” when things are tough. I think it’s been created to dissuade leaders from acting as if hard-to-solve issues are actually solvable or that mile-high challenges can be overcome. A term concocted by employees to keep leaders from, well, leading.

If you’re reading this, I doubt you’ve created an environment that’s toxically positive. If I were you, I’d be more interested if I’d allowed toxic negativity to flourish instead.