You Don’t Know How Because You Don’t Know How

I was on a much needed vacation in Florida with two of my kiddos a few weeks ago. We rented a place right on the ocean, it had a heated pool, and there was an awesome restaurant onsite. Man, it felt like paradise.

It was actually my first experience with an AirBnB and for someone who loves hotels and room service and fresh, clean towels whenever I want, it was actually pretty cool.

On the first night, however, my daughter had an accident in her bed while she was asleep. At a hotel, I’d just ask for new bedding, but there, I had to do the laundry.

I went downstairs with the sheets in my arms and couldn’t find the laundry room. I asked someone where it was and when I entered, there was only one washer and one dryer. Both were being used and I thought to myself that I might need to just wait there until the wash was done to make sure mine got in.

That’s when a worker passed by and told me there was actually another laundry room down the hall with way more washers and dryers. So I went down there and stuffed the blanket and sheets into an open washing machine.

There was a vending machine on the wall that had detergent and fabric softener in it. But they were all the same brand, so I didn’t know which one to choose.

“Excuse me,” I said to the guy who was vacuuming the hallway. “Do you know which one of these is the soap?”

He pointed it out to me, so I inserted the quarters and it vended it to me. Then, I looked at the back of the box, trying to determine if the entire box should be used for one load or if it was multiple loads. I didn’t want to overflow the washing machine after all. The writing was too small, so I turned on my phone’s flashlight to read it.

One Box Per Load it read.

So I poured it on top of the bedding, inserted the quarters to turn on the washing machine, and nothing happened. I looked everywhere for a start button but there was none. I pressed every single thing I could find, hoping something would turn it on. Nothing did.

I thought to myself, “This thing must be broken.”

The man vacuuming was gone, but there was a woman in the hallway who worked there as well.

“Excuse me. Do you know how to turn the washing machine on? I’ve tried everything I can think of, but I can’t figure it out.”

She stepped in and without saying anything, pulled the device that I’d inserted the quarters into, back out. You see, I’d pushed it in and it stayed stuck there. It had to be pulled back to its starting position to activate the wash. Which it did.

Here’s my point: this is one of the easiest things on earth to do. Seriously. Very few things are easier than this. And while I’m no genius, I’m no dummy either. Still, I had no idea how to do it because I had no idea how to do it. Now, when I go back there (which I plan to), I’ll be a pro.

Think about that for a moment, and remember that likely, you’re bad at certain things because you don’t know how to do them well. Not because you’re just bad at them. Are you actually a bad cook? Or is that you just don’t know how to cook well?

This might seem like an obvious distinction, but think about your leadership here.

Is it true that you’re bad at essential conversations? Are you actually a poor communicator? Are you just terrible at providing feedback? Are you lacking when it comes to inspiring others?

I’d bet, for most things, you don’t know how because you don’t know how. Which isn’t an excuse. It’s a call to action to be better. To get books, take courses, or to get a coach. Because there’s no point in being bad at something that you have control over being better at. If that was the case, I’d still be standing in front of that “broken” washing machine.